| An update of sorts. |
[19 Apr 2009|11:49pm] |
This has been an incredible year for me. I've never felt so inspired by so many different things.
With this coming week being the last of the school year, and because I'm still trying to find a job, I'm almost scared of the amount of creative time I'll have to myself for the next little while!
I've been so stressed and buried in school work, I've had no time to act on much inspiration and personal projects, I've really just been trying to put my personal all into my school work instead. But there is so much free time this summer to get some stuff done yay!
I think I did very well, and I can't wait to go back in September as a second year fashion student :) Lets hope that all works out, but I'm not too worried about it!
As for things other then finishing up my school work, May 9th is the Fashion show at the Delta, and I'll be modeling one of Joelle's numbers <3 I'm so excited because she's so good at what she does! :D Should be a lot of fun! And it'll just get me even more excited for the Fall I'm sure!
Next weekend, and the weekend afterward I'll be helping out on the set for a short film called Manic Chiropractic. And sometime this summer I'm quite sure I'll be helping Brit with other short she's making. <3 Still trying to nose my way into the crew of The Doll Maker hehehe. :)
Not sure about Chafics short film anymore, which is a bummer because its such an awesome concept, but I'll totally be ready whenever he is! :p
OOh a trip to LA next summer might be in order!! We've been looking into some flight prices and it looks like it might be a cheaper trip then expected! ^_^ now I just have to start saving some damn money, and get my passport done!!!
Its NOT looking good for any cabaret this year, it seems everyone is just too busy!!!
I still volunteer at boom! once or twice a month as a circus dancer, but that seems to be the extent of actual performance for me as of late hehe.
So yeah, not too much else to share, that is about the extent of my life, nothing TOO exciting, but its really not that lame either. I love what I do with my time <3 boring crap work has to be done to gain towards the exciting stuff :)
And I'm loving my climb towards the future!!
<3
And last but not least, a picture share.
Maria Scaplen took this picture at the school studio, I'm modeling a dress a student named Kiki (can't remember her real name ughhh!) made for one of her classes. Its made of plastic wrap and garbage bags. I freaking love it.
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| Happy Get Drunk Day |
[17 Mar 2009|07:35pm] |
Too bad I have school tomorrow.
~_~
I don't update this journal nearly enough.
Maybe I'll make a big update later. :)
Not that anyone really cares.
But meh. lol
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| Update |
[07 Sep 2008|10:11am] |
Ok where do I start? :D
SCHOOL
School is great so far! I like the majority of my classes, and besides the stress of waiting around for my tiny student loan, I've been making new friends and I'm excited to learn as much as possible.
I get to take each of the 6 media courses for 7 weeks each (or 7 classes,whatever) on friday mornings. So that consists of fashion design, photography, textiles, surface design, ceramics, and metal works.
For my first 7 weeks on fridays I have photography. I like it so far, and they lent everyone an old film camera. I'm excited to get Scott to help me come up with some interesting things for my first assignment. :)
I feel so self aware as of the past couple days. Just plain dorky and awkward. Should I be so perky happy loud excited all the time?
Is this annoying at all?To people (watch my VF videos, you'll get the general idea of what I mean) oh well I KNOW I'm being ridiculous, I can tell, but I just can't help but feel so strange and geeky :p
In the class room, I feel like I'm having a conversation with the teacher and no one else is there. Its because I'm the only one to ever answer or say anything when the teacher is asking questions out loud. I've been told twice already that I'm a "stronger" student, but I think they might just think I'm loud. lol
But its just so strange, in high school, no one liked me much (in my classes that is) and I never spoke up in class. Now it feels like the exact opposite, and I'm just not used to it I guess.
CABARET
Was an amazing weekend. Friday night was great and all, but Saturday night was even better, just as I expected it would be. My mom even came, and that made my evening complete.
No pics yet, BUT the ENTIRE THING was video taped and is GOING TO BE A DVD!!! I haven't seen it yet myself, but I'm sure it will be full of laughs.
I'm worried I look like a dumb ass, but it was for charity, so who cares? My solo was fantastic it made people cream their pants :lol Or so I've heard. Oh and we raised 1736$ for the local Womens Transition House. I'm proud ^_^
OTHER
I was asked by the local East Side's (a skate shop) new product photographer to be a model for some of their girlier products. :D
Mind you, this guy is barely 18, and got the job voluntarily because he's amateur, but if I could get on a poster for there store/website, it might mean future, actual paid modeling gigs.
But yeah, its funny, this guy goes to school with me, and i used to actually BABYSIT him YEARS ago. humorous to me!
:)
and last but not least, heres a couple of really cool pictures that were recently shopped for me, i thought they were neat so i thought I'd share
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| meow! ^_^ |
[29 Aug 2008|01:25pm] |
Cabaret is tonight!
I don't even know how to prepare myself, seeing as I'm sitting in a kiosk until 5:30.
I'm super excited, and ready to give it all the confidence and energy I have.
I got my bangs trimmed last night and touched my roots up so I'm all nice and shiney black. <3
I can just imagine how hellish/hectic everything is going to be. 2.5 hours between the time I get off work and the time the boom! doors open, doesn't seem long enough for so many people to be getting their hair and make up ready, clothing hung up in order and out of the way, and time to practice the intro a couple times, as well as anything else we're semi unsure of.
But! It makes it seem like everything will go by extremely quickly, and I'm definitely not worried if people are going to enjoy it, because even if there is a few mistakes, they probably won't be that noticeable and wouldn't take away from the show.
Orientation for school really got me excited for the most part to start next week
I've made the right decision and I'm sticking with it to the end because I am determined with my goals.
Student loan stuff is stressful, and I'm entering into the world of "poor student" stereotype, but its what I have to do if I want to come out on top.
I am so glad that I am able to get through life knowing who I really am the entire time.
I'll never forget myself, I may let my guard down some times, but in the end I seem to find the balance.
I've seen how people act, I'm learning every day that theres things and blips to watch out for in life, things that I won't be able to control that goes on in the world around me. Some of it may be horrible, some of it just plain hurtful, but I just have to brush it off and not concern myself with other peoples issues.
Not everyone has it so well, especially not from the beginning, and I truly feel that I've gotten as far as I have with my life and my well being all thanks to my parents and the love of my life, Scott.<3
( Couples more pics from a shoot last weekend )
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| updatecabooobiesboobitydoo |
[11 Aug 2008|10:30am] |
4 more cabaret practices, including todays, plus 2 dress rehearsals, then its show time.
I'm nervous, and even though Laura keeps reassuring us that everything is 100% under control, I still can't help but worry about stuff.
Its not my performance really, because I have confidence I'll be good to go by show time (I've gone to every practice unlike some, so that helps) its just everyones performance together I'm worried about! I just want it to go good more then anything, a lot of people seem really excited and I don't want the group to let people down. <3
I should know by Wednesday whats going on with ticket sales. Bare with me.
Asides from the life of cabaret practice and promotion, I've been working 4 days a week opposed to 5, weening myself off the luxury of full time hours. tongue I'm getting pretty nervous for school too, yet another thing I don't feel 100% prepared for.
I want August to be over. srsly.
Weekend wasn't that bad, I went to Boom to sell glow sticks on Friday night, I went to Amanda's grandparents for the evening on Saturday for supper and visiting, and Sunday I went to Scott's Dad's for supper, which was nice. :)
( Boom fun and pics from Amanda's grandparents house )
I'll be going to the zoo in Moncton with Amanda, her mom and Kylie this Friday I think. I'm pretty excited, seeing as I haven't been to a Zoo since I was 6! ^_^
Summer sort of feels over, which sucks because its not even the middle of August yet. There hasn't been much sun, so its hard to enjoy the outdoors. I haven't done too bad for a summer though! I've been to the beach twice, rafting twice, and I'll have gone to the zoo. Maybe HOPEFULLY will be able to squeeze another rafting and or beach trip in all that. :)
I think thats a long enough entry for now...
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[25 Jul 2008|07:30pm] |
Chicago is an amazing movie. I wish I had seen it sooner.
srsly! I've already watched the majority of it again, I think I might be obsessed.
Moulin Rouge on the other hand....I gave it a 40 minute chance, then shut it off. I was pretty disappointed, seeing how people thought it was weird I hadn't see it because apparently its such a good movie..If there is indeed parts I SHOULD see, LET ME KNOW WHAT THEY ARE!!! :D
So heres the things that bothered me about it.
1. I had no idea what I was going into so my main disappointment was the modernness of it, I was really expecting something more 1899 authetic in the music department, and it was farrr from that. Maybe if I knew before hand I wouldn't have minded as much :\
2. I'm someone that loves costumes, I want to work with costuming in theatre/film hopefully in the future. There were SOOOOO MANY beautiful freaking costumes in this movie, like, over 100 I'm sure if we had a chance to count, but each one (and I mean mostly background cast) got maybe 5 seconds of show time.I know this is inevitable, and I know things are supposed to come together and look like chaos and fast moving, but to me I wanted to study each costume and admire them all, and I felt a lot of the really really nice ones went to waste. That's frustrating for someone that admires costuming so much.
3. I know it was a musical, theatre styled film, but I found the acting TOO theatre for an actual movie, and that annoyed me a bit.
I know, I'm being picky, but meh.
So ANYWAYS enough moronic film critiques from me, speaking of films, I GET TO SEE THE XFILES MOVIE TONIGHT AFTER WORK. I'm sooo excited, I'm such an Xfiles fan.
-x-x-x-x-x-x
IN OTHER LIFE NEWS BESIDES WATCHING MOVIES
So the leader of cabaret is moving on september first. :(
Which means the performance is the last weekend in august now, almost a whole month earlier then expected.
Tickets go on sale next week, there will be more info on that later, I guess there is only going to be the 2 shows at Boom now, (no musiplex anymore) That means there will be like, 140 tickets being sold AT THE MOST. So once I give out the info on them i suggest people hustle to get them if you want to see me make a fool out of myself on stage for a good cause.
There was so much more we could do with this show, it just seems to be one thing after another, people quitting, people moving, numbers being dropped... Don't get me wrong, it'll be a good show, but i just feel so rushed with it, it fucking sucks. :(
I really want to stay in it and I am, I love doing this stuff and I'm way too far in to quit, I just can't wait to get it over with and start focusing on school (Orientation is aug 27th, like, a day before the first cabaret show) Its going to be a nervous week for me.
Its pretty sad how much I've already started planning for next years show, I mean its not that hard to get a good head start on shit like this, I don't understand why there wasn't enough time to make this years show as great as it can get!!! Plus I'll have Katie to help me this time around, and I KNOW I can get her acting serious about it.
I'm excited to really sit down with her and start hardcore planning.
In other news, The Morning After short film was totally wrapped Wednesday night.
Congrats Brit! :)
It felt rewarding helping out with everything all weekend. There was a lot of sitting around,waiting and being quiet on every ones part, but every little bit ties together in the end, and I'm sure everyone must feel a sense of accomplishment. :)
I'm really excited to work on films in the future, I'll finally be getting around to actually JOINING the film coop within the next couple weeks.
Met some cool people, learned some new valuable knowledge for working on future films, and even photo shoots :)
I got to do effects make up this weekend too, which ROCKED ME. I love doing that stuff and I hope to do more in the near future :D
oh yeah and I wanted to show a picture of the dorm setting from the film, the wall with the 2 posters I'm in. Every time I looked at the wall I got so happy!!
Yeah thats it for now, I know it was a long entry. ;)
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| Who do ya think you're messin with girrrrrl...yeah yeah yeah yeah.... |
[03 Jul 2008|11:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 determined |
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| [ |
music |
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I Love The White Stripes. <3 |
] |
Its now apparent that I'm making a boredom entry. ;)
Here are 2 potential pictures that may end up being posters(will be 2x3 feet) going on the wall of the set of Brits short film.
( TEH SEXEH PICTURES. DER IN HEEER )
I'm tired, but i just don't feel like going to bed. All I do is work and then I'm too zapped to do anything else for the rest of the day, especially with the heat. I hate just going straight to bed, I'm turning into my grandmother with these early bed times :P
I love my new mp3 player <3 I love being able to listen to such a wide variety of music all day long at work, it really helps the day pass. :D
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| Mayjar update: thoughts, life, and feelinks |
[26 Jun 2008|11:36am] |
Life is busy. I work full time, and Brits short film is fast approaching and theres still lots to be done.
I haven't even really tried to think about Chaf's film in August yet.
I'm helping Brit shop for the rest of the clothing and a few props this evening, then helping her get some "drinking friends" shots of the actors afterwards.
I'm still doing cabaret. Our members have diminished a bit, and I've gone from being in 4 numbers to about 7 numbers, but thats ok, I go to every practice, so I'm confident I'll be good to go once September rolls around. I'm excited :)
I start school around the first of September, I'm enrolled to go to NBCCD, and I've applied for my student loan and all that jazz, so now all I can do is play the waiting game :)
Summer is going by super fast, and their won't be any time to rest after it ends either.
The next 3 years will be dedicated to hard work. :)
Right at this moment in life,I am truly happy with myself and my life and all of my situations at the moment.
I am very lucky in so many ways.
I am in love with the greatest man alive, I could never leave his side.
We live in a great little house in a nice location, with the best room mate ever.
Theres no fighting ever, only laughing.
I feel like I belong for once in my life, comfortable almost, and I wouldn't change that for anything.
I have great parents that raised me very well, and I couldn't ever thank them enough.
<3
I don't hide behind masks and illusions, I am what I am, and I love myself for being the way that I am.
I used to have to tell myself over and over that this is a good thing, but now...I just know... and thats such a nice thing. Such a relief.
I am happy I've taken on so many projects/volunteer work this summer, even though I've been extremely busy, I'm very satisfied with what I can accomplish in such a short amount of time.
Sorry it seems like I'm boasting, but I've been pretty hard on myself for the most part,and I've come to a lot of realizations lately that have just literally....set me free. :)
Of course, my self critique could drastically change, but thats a hard part. As much as I like to do the whole modeling thing, I still just wonder all the time why I bother, and theres no one to blame for these feelings other then myself.
I just suck that way, but I guess thats just what pushes me harder into trying to be the best I can be.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-
On the LP vs SG closed case
After reading all the negative and all the positive of whatever I could find on the LP case, I'm still on Apnea and LP's side. (and when I mean side, I mean for the whole lawsuit ordeal, this has nothing to do with my hate on for SG, which will always stand, this is only one thing resolved out of plenty mistakes they have made running their shitty company)
I hate how bad that Blueblood article made him look, yes, they may have fucked up in certain area's of something I'm not entirely sure of, but they're fucking humans, thats what we do best.
The letter to the community was most certainly not 100% written by LP and A, and I can't believe for a second that they actually wanted that letter to sound so SG positive. They are just biting their tongues and getting on with their lives. Its still a slimy situation, but oh well, those are the facts of life I guess.
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[12 Mar 2008|05:12pm] |
I got my "automatic acceptance" letter in the mail for NBCCD.
Yey. Or something...
I'd be more excited if I wasn't so nervous about what a competitive field I'm probably getting myself into. Because you guys all know thats totally me...*rolls eyes*
I just want to be the best I can be, and I'm worried that I'm just going to suck.
Schools and Kiwi's don't go hand in hand very well, but I really want to give it my best shot!
I think about how young and naive I am a lot, and how I wish I wasn't so naive all the time. I don't mean to come off sounding so stupid, but unfortunately a lot of the time it just happens.
Things get planted in my head. Many, many things, some probably shouldn't even be there. But I can't control the way I am, and what I know and don't know. It sounds like asking for the impossible but its driving me crazy.
I feel like I'm always being totally ignorant about SOMETHING.
I know life isn't really as complicated as I might make it sound, but I can't stop my mind from making it so!
I'm going to stop babbling now, I can be such the pointless droning idiot when i don't have to be....
( more of the set )
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| Hmmm |
[13 Feb 2008|11:23pm] |
What should I write about today?
I'm annoyed with the weather. It stops me from being productive, especially when it storms out on important days more often then not, and not only that but it keeps people from coming to visit me! :( Today I wanted to get someone to drive me over to that freaking high school so I could get my transcripts on there way to the art school....BUT NO, It has to snow and freezing rain on my only week day off, and now I have to wait another week to do that bullshit.
So yeah, I'm annoyed today. Big time, about a lot of different things other then getting ready for school and the weather, but I don't want to get into pointless irritating rants that no one will read. HERE HERE! lmao
Heres a couple nice shots Scott took of me at the Delta Inn when we went to see Ozzy in Moncton
( a couple more )
Other then feeling annoyed and poopy, nothing much else has been going down in my world, other then working, randomly surfing the net and reading. Oh and trying to dye things black and having them turn out brown.
yey.
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| update! |
[27 Jan 2008|11:35pm] |
The Ozzy concert was pretty wicked, felt bad for the poor dude though, he definitely wasn't sounding so hot the first couple songs, but he got better as he went along!
The band before them seemed cool right at first, but then realized quickly that it was just an Alexisonfire screamo band in disguise with a cool girls voice.
It was a great show none the less though all in all!
My watermark was finally decided on and finished, and I've been reposting all of my pictures by Scott with it stamped on them!
Its good enough for now, might fine tune it even more when I figure out where I'm going to go for my own domain to set up a portfolio website, which won't be happening for awhile as Scott has been sucked into the mighty World of Warcraft.
But He deserves to spend as much time on that as he freakin wants, he's so good to me! I love you baby so much!!! (He looks SOOOO sexy in his new glasses, and he got the tinting lenses too. *drools*)
Heres a few pictures under the cut
( just a couple official Caleidh Cthulhu pictures )
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| Update |
[10 Jan 2008|01:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 rushed |
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People spend their whole lives acting. You show this face to one person and another to someone else. its all a form of acting. There are probably about 20 individuals in every individual. There is no one person at all, just lots of different characteristics.
Kate Bush
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| secrets that are meaningless entrails |
[16 Dec 2007|11:31pm] |
I'm just a common maiden
with a natural ache,
for something i don't really need,
but crave it so badly,
just because I can't have it.
Feels like
37 strings are tied
To my fingers
To keep me from forgetting
How badly I want it.
I never knew that they were
Able to silently,
Bust open my chest,
Rip my heart out from its hole
Evenly tear it to shreds,
And frame it on their walls
Before it even stopped
Frantically palpitating with confusion.
My brain is sending me signals
That can only be decoded
By human beings
That existed more then
20 life times ago.
Theres an echo in my chest
From where my heart once beat
With such a gritty lust
I swear they could hear its secret
With every breath I took.
Love is a another word for powerful distraction
Lust is just a normal human reaction.
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caleidhsaad's journal
